Unspoken

I said it,
and said it aloud,
I yelled my deepest breath out
and at the top of my voice I shout.

But Alas! All within my heart
They hit the impermeable walls
and get broken into parts.

Feelings when get molded into words,
Make sense for you,
But for others it may be absurd
Often they remain unspoken
with the fear of not being heard.

They say you speak
when your heart can hold no more
Joys or cheer, sorrow or fear,
all get spoken, distinct and clear.

I said it,
and said it aloud
But Alas! They were so unclear
They didn't even reach to their ears.
Words got molded into feelings
and dropped down as tears.

They say you speak
Whenever your heart says,
and you really need to be heard
But I say...
That you just can't speak then
Because you don't find words.

                                      ~ 29/6/2004

Just once more..

Just once more....

Let me feel that warmth

Transcending your shivering soft hands

and melting down through me,

to soften my troubled thoughts

Just once more, let me hug you

and my cheeks feel,

your damp old saree

Smelling like wet moss.

subduing my feverish body

Let me sleep in you tiny lap,

and enjoy those tales again,

which i have almost memorised by now

But not in your lovely unique way

Just once more, say it the way you say.

It's not that it mad huge difference

But I miss those tiny pampering

Which made all the difference.

Those long chit-chats in the afternoon Sun

Not that the content was important,

yet the way it was done.

Just once more, receive my call

I promise i will shout loud and clear

and wont complain that "why cant you hear"

Because i want to tell you just once more

that with every day, I am missing you much more.

Just once more....

Say those funny cuddly words,

Which once annoyed so much

But no one says it anymore..

I so miss the way you adored :(

Just once more...

I wanna hug you and tell

that life is not easy for me anymore.

Today I need that pampering as never before.

I wanna hug you and tell

that I know your dearests awaited

But what made you interpret

that we won't be needing you anymore.

Come back AMMA, come back

Just once more.

                        ~ 17/9/2010

Khwaab

Wo khwaab jo aankhon mein basar kar chuke hain,

Mere saath saath kayi saalon ka safar kar chuke hain.

Hothon pe na kabhi mil saki unhein panah

Wo aansuon ke saaye mein ghar kar chuke hain.

In aasuon ke chhalak jaane se aitraaz hai mujhe

Kahin inke aayne mein na dikh jaaye, jo ye asar kar chuke hain

Faasle bhi ab gheraane lage hain darmiyaan

 Do kadmon ka safar tha, hum wo bhi na tay kar sake hain.

Hakikat sa mahsoos karti hun inhein

Yeh kuch mujhsi hi shakal rakhne lage hain.

Jo manzar na mumkin ho sakenge kabhi

Unhein khaabon mein apna humsafar kar chuke hain.

Na samjha na sambhla,

Ek aansun aankhon se, na jaane kab beh nikla

Na chaahte the jisse kabhi batana

Zahir kar chala, ye paagal kuch aise bikhra.

Khwabon ko khwaab hi rehne do

Hum bhi kahan unhein shakle dene chale hain.

Labzon ke daayre chubhte hain inhein,

Ye meri bandh aankhon mein hi bhalein hain.

                                                       ~8/12/2012

                                                          

Wondrous Ambiguity

What it beholds, neither a glimpse nor clue

Tried stealing a look, but could not see through

In the most erratic and ever startling way,

Life will keep you on your toes, until you stay.

Whenever you are most equipped for the horrid

It may not even give a reason to be worried.

Probably it gazed your determination to be strong

And hence did not take the chance of going wrong.

Try taking it easy and going slow.

The next moment you will be struck by the hardest blow.

Probably it wants you to be strong,

It tests whether every time you are equipped to face wrong.

I am strong, strong enough to face all odds.

With my head held high, I am travelling the roads.

But every now and then, there comes a turn

Where it’s so hazy, the visibility is none.

Just be by my side in those phases of my life.

Rest I am assured, I can survive.

                                             ~8/12/2012

When I am not around................

Said or just wished, expressed or not…

You have found me beside every time you thought.

Touched or just felt or it’s the vibes you got…

I resided around whenever you sought.

You elevated with a surpassing vigor  

Me beaming at your stature so tall

Never did you feel the dearth to fear for

My hands on your shoulders wouldn’t let you fall

But will you even quiver for a moment

If ever those hands fall weak.

Will you eyes be filled with torment…

If my eyes someday stop to blink?

Will you crave for my snug..

In those sleepless nights

Will you ever miss my hug…

In those moments of plight.

When you see me no more…

Will you look around?

And when you see many more..

Will you still want me around?

                                                   16/04/2012

Perpetual

What will exist forever in life,
Not withered wee bit and standing upright?
My thoughts wondered inquisitively to know
Whom can I trust to my heart’s delight?

Overwhelmed with utter anticipation,
I knocked at LOVE’s door.
Without slightest of doubt in my mind,
I asked, won’t you be there for sure?
Love smiled at me gleefully and said,
I am born in your heart and wish to stay
But I need your attention, vow and devotion
And want to be accepted the same way.

Thwarted by Love’s give n take,
I headed towards FRIEND for cure.
Rooted with concern and empathy,
Friendship is always known to be pure.
Most of the time I will be with you
You will find me sharing all good n bad
But only till in my life someone special I find,
Ah! But you can call me if you feel sad.

As life gets busy and time passes by
It too will weaken and God Forbid may not survive.
Then whom do I bank forever.
Are they relations whom I can rely?
Certainly you may to a certain extent,
As genetically our bonding is so strong
But mortal are we with worldly desires,
You never know what can go wrong.

Disheartened I moved here and there,
In desperate wish to know what’s forever
When I happen to see my shadow
Moving along I go wherever.
How cudn’t I know that none but my own existence
will accompany myself till the time I am alive.
I trust my thoughts and conscience to be my own
With me they will perpetually survive.

                                                    

                                                         ~10/08/2011

                                                         

Transcendental

From where do you get the instinct..
To hear what I have not even uttered.
How do you get the patience
To handle every bit of my life that’s cluttered.

What gives you the strength…
To run around and meet my needs
I know I will never starve
Until you are there to care for my feeds

From the time I wake up, until I m in bed
You strive merely to bestow me the best
When do you sleep mom, when do you eat?
Do you ever pause to take some rest?

You have taught me how to live
Yet I know you are still there to guide.
You are sure I won’t be lost
Yet I know you will anyways walk by my side

                                                _10/08/2011

Beam Balance

It’s encumbering up on either of the sides

With a tussle to out power one another

Burdening me down with the plight

Dearth the equilibrium however

Love on one side and love on another

Daunting the existence of love all over

Vehemently trying to zzstrike a balance

Spilled my love, dreaded which forever

I shudder, not with the load

But with the fear to rip apart

Strangled are all threads of life

Jeopardized stays my heart

If I choose to choose

What shall be compromised?

Unjust will I be to myself for sure

Even if I decide to prejudice

                                         ~26/06/2011